Well this weekend after my safe return from St. Andrews and my friends wedding I took the stall out on Sunday. It was crazy hot, and often I found the really hot day not particularly good for sales in the past, but I think I needed to just bust out of a rut a bit and just get the ball rolling. So regardless of the heat and the lure of my garden I wheeled into town & set up.
Well the day was fruitless, financially, but I didn’t mind I was quite happy to take in some rays & listen to some great music. Was still on a bit of a mental buzz from the wedding although physically destroyed.
I had a wee think about my little bamboo table. That table has been on some adventure since I bought it from a charity shop in 2008. I wonder about its past and where else that little table & me will go.
Also I was thinking about another story from the past. The years 2007, I was living up North working in a small town at a golf hotel as the Bar man. painting by day, working the bar at night, it was a quiet enough job and it had some perks but I wasn’t tailored for that role.
Anyway without blabbing on its new years eve. Not that i had any friends in the town to go see I really did not want to be there. Big time bad mood. So the bar is packed and eventually everyone clears off to the restaurant for the big meal and all of a sudden the bar is totally empty. Thank goodness.
Then this gentleman walks in. quite old and wearing a very nice big winter coat. Fur collar type thing, and generally really well dressed. Clearly a wealthy man. He’s at the bar, takes off his hat and orders up a whiskey. Straight off the bat he pulls me up about not looking like I should be working in a bar. What is it i do? Im a painter I tell him. He tells me about when he was my age he went to New York and he made his fortune, I should go he says.
Well I cant remember much else being said, he only had the one swift drink, tips me 20quid and leaves the bar.
Then the new year revellers filter through and its back to business.
I got to thinking how often every now and again, these figures pass into your life, maybe just a look, maybe a question or a chat at a bus stop, some advice at a bar, a chance meeting in the middle of nowhere. Are these ghosts? Maybe he was my future self? A angel, or as my friends used to call them, what we coined, force inspectors. Just checking your all right. Maybe helping you steer in the better direction.
Well that night I don’t think he was any ordinary chap. And have I gone to New York yet… well no. But by god do I think about it. Sometimes at night you get this idea in your head and it boils up, your heart feels like its racing. Get in a taxi right now to the airport, damn it all. Get on a plane tonight, right now. Whoosh. Then eventuality you pull it in and its ive got work in the morning what the hell are you thinking?
Do you ever get that feeling at night that’s like a rush in your chest. Inside it kind of feels like everything is speeding up, faster and faster and you wonder how much can you let it build up and what’s going to happen if you take it too far. Its a really strange sensation that’s almost linked in with remembering something from long ago? Or almost having a idea, a memory something that’s not quite reachable. The speed whirls up, your opening doors chasing down this thing, and then you just kind of loose it, trip up in your own mental entanglement and it passes away and the memory is out of reach. You cant even remember what is was you almost had. But it was something??
Well ive completely lost my train of thought now, I really dont know where that was going! Is it time for New York. Do i have to wait to know its time, or is the time when I get on a plane?
Well I think someone’s had too many cups of tea and needs to go to bed. As I am working in the morning and I definitely don’t have the money to go to the Airport tonight.
That was quite an extensive post, certainly completely deviating from its original purpose.
Good night, and to the land of sleep & dreams. Chasing down ghosts in the dark, a mental enigma that I already know yet is blocked, it moves to fast. What are you and what do you want?